Durgama Takeover

Ajax, Macheon, Hector, and Acmon are playing volley ball on the beach while Scylla sunbathes. Thrasymedes is surfing.
Hector spikes the ball and Acmon dives to return it but is too slow and it lands softly in the sand.
Ajax picks it up to serve the ball back, but hits it too hard and it pops.
Ajax "Not again. This is just like my junior prom!"
Laugh track plays.
Macheon "Well I'm parched. I'm going to head inside and get a drink."
Acmon "Let's all head in. Too much sun is bad for your skin."
Scylla grunt crankily.
Laugh track plays.
The heroes head into the beach house.

Somewhere in the distance, a man badly impersonates the cry of a hawk.
Ninjas leap from the bushes and start charging the beach house. The heroes leap into action and take up defensive positions.
Hector glances out the window.
Hector "The ninjas have a TAG!"
A Shakush wearing black pajamas bursts in the side door. Scylla tries to hack it, but her charybds bot is too far and riddled with bullets and slumps dead against the wall.
Macheon turns and throws an eclipse grenade, but his battle cry is swallowed up as a wall of flames consumes him instantly.

A ninja with a shotgun charges through the front door. The tennis balls from Hector's plasma rifle bounce off her harmlessly, and empties four shells into him and one into Acmon. Both heroes crumble to the ground.
Ajax shoots the ninja and picks up Hector's dying body to craddle him in his arms.
Ajax "You can't go, Strategos. There's no one else who can teach us to work together as a team."
Hector "I'm afraid you'll have to take it from here, big guy. This is the end of the road for me."
Ajax cries out to the heavens "Noooooooo!"

----
Cut to Thrasymedes running up the beach, behind the ninja tag. He pulls out a can of silly string.
Thrasymedes "Zap crackle pop!"
He sprays the TAG with silly spring. Lightning effects spark in every direction and it shuts down.
A ninja jumps up in the distance and throws a ninja star at Thrasymedes. He flips backwards to dodge under it, but it explodes over him, sending him flying into the ocean.
Thrasymedes "Cowowabunga!"

----
Cut back to Ajax desperately trying to hold the beach house as more ninjas swarm into it, honorably fighting him one at time.
Ajax tries to tackle one of them, but he trips over his own feet and cracks his head on the coffee table. The ninja glances around awkwardly. He puts his shotgun to Ajax's head and blows it off.
The entire room is painted in blood.
Roll credits.

Editor's Note - Are you completely off your rocker? There wasn't even a single product placement in this. Thrasymedes didn't even say the name of his Zapper silly string. How are we supposed to merchandise without building any brand recognition? Also the heroes can't all get crit seven times and die in the first episode. Make sure this gets fixed in post!

Final Score:
Steel Phalanx 2 Hassassin Bahram 8