Durgama Takeover

Infinity

If Duroc deploys via parachute, is he Updog?

300 POINTS
ALEPH
nullpointer
VS Ariadna
WildBillcox

(We were playing Frostbyte as per ITS Season 13, not the Darpan mission)

Achilles stumbles upon Uxia Mcneill on the frozen wastes of Arschlochhof. William Wallace doesn't approve of the arrogant blonde artificial demigod's catcalling, and prepares a strike to punish accordingly (and also he fears he's next because he wears skirts)

Wallace gives the order to deploy Margot&Duroc
The field

"Fuck off, ya dobber!" Uxia screams as she blindly chucks an ample supply of homemade bombs stored in mysterious pockets and orifices(don't ask). Incidentally these explosives land nowhere near Achilles but instead force his long suffering adjutant to run for cover.

Meanwhile Duroc suddenly appears and starts giving Achilles' friends a ruff time. Diomedes is blown off course by sudden gale force winds and disappears into the middle distance screaming GERONIMO in Greek. Achilles does not appreciate being hounded and proceeds to show Duroc what a dog's life means.

Oddly enough, Wallace dispatches a not-Akira (complete with motorbike) to roll up and spray bullets and harsh language in Achilles' general direction. Duroc's female friend (with benefits?) also makes an appearance. In the general commotion, one of Uxia's bank robber friends sneaks up and probes Achilles' Winter Wonderland tour guide with unknown ancient gizmos before slipping off into the distance. A grubby LatAm guitarist (Irmadinho, Armadinho, potato potatoe) who clearly joined up with Wallace because MEN IN SKIRTS remembers to turn on the heater for Wally's hangout spot.

Achilles finds not-Akira's lack of actual psychic powers to be disappointing. He also doesn't like the idea of a musically proficient romantic rival and sends that dude packing, before turning around and dedicating his energies to the blonde but maybe not available Margot

Unable to *bear* with Achilles' persistence, Wally sics his pet attack werebear on him, but one of his friends takes one for the team and sends them both blasting off again. Discount Captain America and his two Cosplay-Viking friends gets the short straw and are forced to wander into the cold to keep the blonde haired machine off their warm turf.

Achilles is enraged by the constant parade of knockoffs and blue balls, and runs forwards yelling at the top of his lungs. One of his mailman friends uses the distraction to slip forward and turn on their own heater. As it turns out, too many of Team Wally are left out in the cold and decide to head for warmer pastures, leaving Achilles with his handy personal warmer to continue his Winter Wonderland tour.

PS: I completely forgot that my list had a TR bot in it. Durrrr

Achilles takes a moment to do some gloating before continuing to fap in Uxia's general direction

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ALEPH
nullpointer
Wins

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